I Ain’t A Gambler

Last 500 days were like a mad train that refuses to ever stop.

Key dates:

11/25/2016 First order to buy 20 shares AMD stocks

05/19/2017 Brokerage account with IB was approved

02/05/2018 The worst performing week ever for me

Apparently, through the up and down of prices, I’ve lost the direction of life. I lost time; I lost money; and I got my first-ever C in college. I get greedy at the top and I suffer from fear at the bottom. Though trading is not the only thing that I regret doing, it turns out to be the culprit of my worsening health and academics. The addictive thought of speculation contributed to some bad decisions I made for my life, as I was ill-prepared for day trading, with an especially bad timing. Nonetheless, I do not hate the market. In fact, it has taught me much: I’ve seen a listed product lose 95% of value in a day; I’ve endured the day when I suffer 300% loss for shorting VIX; and I’ve made thousands out of option trading. However those experiences did not help me become whom I aspire to be: I became a gambler although I knew I ain’t one, not knowing trading was itself a failed financial decision no matter how much I earn out of it.

Despite all, life does not stop here. I have to move on from the mess I created, and it has to be as fast as $XIV drops on the first Monday in February 2018.

Hanwen Zhang

03/06/2018 – SAN DIEGO, Calif